I had to buy a charger at the deli last night since I havent been home for 2 night upon my arrival back into the city.
Every thought that passes my mind is useless and unecessary. I'm sleeping on a hard bed of landmines and one wrong move sets each and every one off. I'm feeling irritable, irritated, antsy, and full of ennui.
XXX XXXXXX XXXX XXXXXXX XXX XXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXX XXXXXXX XXX XXXXXX.
Not that I need the approval, just
XXX xXxxxXXxx.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I haven't set these systems up myself,
but have I walked myself in?
I am a contribution to my own enviorment,
but I am not responsible - especially in a situation where I was not invited.
A curly haired man mouthed to me across the train.
"Are you okay?"
Sophia [Lamar] roots for me and wants me to fuck the hot blonde
-3:44
XXX XXXXXXXX XXX xxth St Apt 1b Queens, NY XXXXX
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
-"Are you a homosexual?" Sophia asked.
"I'm attracted to individuals," he responded.
"You two should make out" she said while waving her finger between us
I fell asleep on his shoulder on the way home. It was quite pathetic that he made us take the train.
I was still drunk when I began to doze off on the uptown express train. I've learned my lesson the hard way. A few times...
xxx xx xxx xxx xxx xxxxx xxxxx xx. xx xxxxx xxxxx. xxx xx xxx xxx xxx xxx xxxxx xxx. x xxx xxxx xx xxxxx xxx xxxxxxxxx, xxx xxxxxxx xx xxx xx xxxx xxx xxxxxxx x xxx xxxxxxxxx.xxxxxx xx xxxx xx xxxxxxxx xxx xxx xxxxxx xxxxx xx. xxxxxxxxxx xx xxxxx xxxxxx xxxx xxxx xx xxx xxxxx xxxxx xx xxxxx xx xxxx xxx xx. xx xxx xxxxxxxxx xxxxxxx xx xxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxx.
-12:36pm
I feel so refreshed today. Thank god I went out, I needed my fix of whiskey.
-8:05pm
Ollie wore his blue 70's plaid set with his yellow beret and I, my vintage 501s with my gray cashmere and military beret. First timer at the Whitney, on viewing, Surreal Sixties. The work was strange and abstract. I appreciated it enough while I was there. Highlight: Schmeerguntz(1965)
"We would never run into anyone from work here" Ollie said, smiling
"Everyone is really obsessed with us, this lady keeps attempting to strike conversation with us" I said, looking over my shoulder
My brain begam to rummage through its thoughts about last weekend. Both photographers at 305 [Spring St] asked me where [REDACTED] was.
Cxxxxx xxxxxx said he was my friend.
Plagued by the touch of men, my seuxal high worn off and my libido low. The lack of intimacy hurts but at least it sends a clear message.
-
Ollie was surprised when I told him I had planned to spent the night in New Jersey. Kahil had called me late cancelling our plans cos the viral plague he inhibited that morning. As my evening cleared, Oliver and I decided to score some hot cocoa. Who knew all the chocolatiers downtown closed at 6? We wound up at classic Reggio for a mix of the worst hot chocolates with the driest cannolis (He hates cannolis so he got a tiramisu which was satisfactory).
Everyone here knows eachother and this situation isn't for me. I wish [REDACTED] was here with me. Maybe I'll call him, I'm debating if its too late. free drink [REDACTED]
Thank god Parker showed up. But I'm NOT going to Mr. Purple.
I have a hard time understanding why a straight man would like cock?
1. talking about hot nurses
2. he asked me if I like it --- "no" I said
3. This + That
Knowledge would be fatal. It is the uncertainty that charms one. A mist makes things wonderful.
-2:15am
Dorian Gray is over. Hedonisms in. Youth is in. Beauty is in. Being naive is in. The beauty in youth is opportunity and experience. I search for an experience.
That's what I'm looking for.
Against all odds [REDACTED] gave me the experience and roped me inside the underground.
I keep thinking about [REDACTED]. I’ve found that it tends to come in waves.
Today is Thanksgiving.
I wonder how much memory one will lack in the future. How many small and minute details that seemed so heavy and important, just forgotten